I made a promise to myself that I would do instead of read. I’m a witch who has always stuck to the theory not practical, might have pulled out the occasional bit of spell work but nothing too taxing. I read, this is what I do and I do it very well. I’ve always been happy doing the reading, there is nothing more warming and wonderful than cracking open the pages of a book, smelling that book smell (the book lovers will know what I mean) and knowing that worlds beyond worlds await, you only have to turn the pages and begin the journey. My problem or rather more appropriately, my issue is that I tend to stay within the realm of words and far remove myself from the world of action.
I am also a huge blog reader, I have a short list on my profile of blogs I follow but the list as it stands in my favourites is rather large. Like anyone I have my favourite bloggers who I read regularly and I often feverently wish they would post more. I like to read about their adventures in witchery, they always seem far more fascinating than my own. I realise and acknowledge that a fair amount of my morning when I could be doing more productive things is taken up by reading (it’s a whole thing, when you’re a mad reader like me it is all you tend to do most of the time) and I often let the day get away from me. I’ll admit, reading the adventures of other witches leaves me feeling slightly envious because they are doing these amazing things and really living the life of the witch. I see them living the life I wish I had. It is though they are living my dream and I am the spectator watching it all happen feeling myself slowly fading into the realm of nothingness. They do wondrous things, perform feats of witchcraft that seem monumental, create absolutely fabulous herbal products and handcrafted tools.
I often sit there thinking I wish I could do it, and truthfully I could do it, I just have to battle with my lack of motivation. I have all of the passion and none of the “go” to do it. One of my biggest flaws has always been a large dose of procrastination genes. I think, I analyse, I think a bit more and to just make sure I’m covering all of my bases, I think just a little bit more. By the time the thinking is done, there are new things to consider and so the same vicious cycle starts again. It’s quite pathetic, I’m aware but I can’t quite figure how to get past it.
My brilliant realization for this post is that I want to be the one doing, if I want to read posts about wondrous witchery, I need to do it more. I should write the posts I want to read, I should write about the things I want to experience but instead of just thinking about it, I need to get out and do it.
So this is my point, the doing instead of the reading. I need to do more things to be able to write the posts I want to read but it is two fold because it also gets me more involved with my spirituality again, something that I have felt so completely disconnected from lately. I can’t even muster up any interest; I’m too tired, too drained, just too…too. I can literally waste hours looking at things on the internet that I wish I was doing (I’m quite bad when it comes to Etsy) and I should use that time to do something more productive.
I have a lot going on with my three holistic therapies courses, I was massively behind on my Tafe which I have now been able to catch up on so I am promising myself with all sorts of personal threats to back it up to truly stay on track and not get behind on my studies. Within that frame I also want to rebuild my store and start handcrafting wonderful things for my business. So we shall see.
The good thing is I am starting to motivate myself. The previous post was about witches flying ointment and I’ve made some (more on that later), I’ve just not used it yet so that is my next thing. My other projects are making incense pellets and candles and my Mandrake project. I feel more motivated to do it.
Because I realized (as I mentioned in my first post this month) that I have let so many of my dreams go, I have waved goodbye to them and let myself leave those dreams behind. I’ve tried to move forward doing other things. Don’t get me wrong, I love doing my courses and I am looking forward to the day I can call myself a qualified Holistic Therapist but my true passion was always with my witchcraft, was always with making things. I recently discovered my Cherry died, it never really grew to start with if I’m being honest, I have an idea to use the trunk and make a lovely, warm cherry wood wand to sell. Small things, small steps. I am encouraged by the fact that I took the time to actually make the bath bombs and flying ointment. If I can do this, I can get my dreams back on track.
I also wanted to keep on top of my blogging. I’ve got a few things to post but I am not going to go so overboard and post random things like I was before. I have ideas to write about different areas of witchcraft, I want to get my tarot and herbal blog up and going again. I also want to find myself again, I think through all of this I have lost sight of who I am and that part of me is pissed off. She wants to be back at the forefront. So I will find who I am and I will find my passion again. It may take time but I think it will happen, it has to, there is no other choice.
So walking forward I must remember:
Will do instead of read.
Will do instead of read.
Will do instead of read.
Amendment: Will still read (can't help myself) but will also make time to do as well.