I was reading one of my regular must-read blogs this morning called The Deepest Well and Aine had written about the feeling in the air and that there are things to consider and I believe she is right. Referenced are other blogs that share the feeling that something is coming (not the Mayan Apocalypse to be clear), and I have to say there is a strangeness in the air, an almost chaotic vibe that feels as though it is picking up steam, just getting started. So much is going wrong in the world right now and it seems to be a domino effect. It is almost as though there is an encroaching darkness.
It’s the strangest thing, especially for me because I am not the most spiritually active person in the world. I am a witch yes, but I’m not always true to the path and practicing as I should. Even I feel it, I sometimes feel like something is watching, waiting. I don’t know that I would say it feels malevolent because it doesn’t, just more like an awareness, a shiver, a knowing. And it’s not all the time, but on occasion. I couldn’t say what it is or how it enters into my life spiritually speaking, I would meditate on it but I suck at mediation. I can’t focus long enough to enter a trance state or ‘quiet’ state. It’s a work in progress. Lately I’ve been feeling called toward the Yew, Spirit Work and Baneful herbs. The Yew is not a tree I considered before – my tree has always been the Oak – we have on in our yard and it is beautiful, powerful and old. I’m considering Hawthorn, Elder and Blackthorn too but lately my mind has been saying Yew.
I’m moving more toward spirit work, or at least exploring that area, I wouldn’t say I’m near ready to even begin practicing in that field, but like so many practitioners I wonder if I am being pulled in that area for a reason. When I was younger, I used to spontaneously astral project when I was asleep. I would never really remember where I had been or what had happened, I would wake up because I would slam back into my body hard enough to sit me up. It is the most absolute weirdest feeling in the world, you minimally wake up with “what in the”…. going through your mind. I often used to see a black jaguar (or panther) too right before I woke. The Jaguar (and Black Panther) has strong correspondences – maybe I was meant to walk this path all along but was too young to truly understand what it all meant. Perhaps I am being pulled toward the Shamanistic path; I imagine this is what drew me to the Wildwood Tarot. The card I feel most pulled toward in that deck is number 13, The Journey. When I first showed my parents they commented that it was a little scary but to me this card is beautiful, I understand what it means. I also adore Crows, I think they are the most beautiful of birds.
I am scrambling in a way to catch up to where I feel I should be, however I am allowing for the fact that growth is an organic process, it can’t be hurried. I know when something Big happens, I may be navigating blind because only now am I walking the path I feel I was always meant to travel, but I am The Fool taking the first steps not knowing what lies beyond my immediate vision. The funny thing is I’m not afraid, I’m not scared. I’m curious but that has always been a strong part of who I am, curiosity and the need to know. I will see a hint of something in a documentary or book and I will research it until I understand it, I’ve always been this way. I fear the dark because it is unknowable but whatever this is, whatever may be coming, I don’t fear it, I want to put my hand to it and pull back the screen to see. It may not be pleasant, hell it could be terrifying but at least I will know.
Illogical logic right?
Whatever is coming, I think it will be Big and it will change things. In what way I can’t say for sure, but I tend to agree that it may be a changing of perspective or understanding. I can’t say I’ve been feeling as though the Gods are recruiting me, but I’ve always felt a connection to Nephthys, so much so I took the name for my business and magically. Nephthys is the lesser known sister of Isis, she was ‘married’ to Set and is the mother of Anubis. Her mother and father were Sky and Earth and Nephthys herself is the Goddess of Magic, Dreams, Divination, Intuition, Secrets, Metamorphisis, Death, the Unseen World, Darkness and Hidden Knowledge, she is also associated with the Earth, fertility and change. I’ve also had a message from the Morrigan, this was awhile ago. I’m a little ambivalent toward working with Deity, I’m still not sure how I feel about it, but I’ve always felt a pull toward the Darker Goddesses (Hecate and Cailleach have also been interests of mine).
I feel like I should perhaps begin to prepare by warding and protecting. I made some Black Salt so I might even sprinkle that round the perimeter of our property (on a cooler day; we have three blocks side by side – our house in the middle and two paddocks – I am sooo not walking that on a hot day), to give some added protection. I have a protection bottle I’ve never done anything with so I may even consider using it or creating one with herbs from the garden and bits from around the home to really solidify the connection. I just realised (total duh moment) that at either end of our property we have crossroads....wonder if there is any significance?
So as my rambling comes to a close, I do understand where other Pagans are coming from, that we can all feel it to a degree is interesting and powerful. How whatever this is comes, I think we will all know before it hits. What we can do is protection work, spirit work, journeying and divination to see what we can learn and how we can adapt to the changes. However long we have to wait (I’m not convinced it’s immanent, I think there is still some time to go), time will tell what needs to be done.
Curiously, does anyone feel a particular time frame? I feel like a cold feeling, not so much the energy of whatever it is although there is a slight feeling of emptiness, of a void, but more like it will come during a cold time.